We all live for happiness. It is the single most difficult think to be as it can only depend on YOU and no one else.
This month I have been incredibly self-aware (as far as I can say). This has resulted in epiphanies and down moments, truly the ying-yang of life, the good and the bad.
This specific thought about happiness has come and gone in my life time depending on my mood and environment. Also, I would like to say that this is my view on the subject and I don’t mean to put any strings on your actions.
I feel incredibly privileged for my upbringing and life, all aspects of it, good and bad. I tend to share the dark sides with my closest friends and parents. Keeping it from others that might think I am a human that feels things. Maybe it’s my mistake not to share more but I really don’t think it is.
Now, the good, is much more shareable. Dog walks on the beach, exciting projects, big life decisions that make me happy, capitalistic purchases, etc.
For the latest there’s always space on my socials.
Well, not anymore.
I have reached a breaking point to which everything I share I either want it for later memories or because it needs to be shared (for promotion and awareness purposes for example). I may post my dog walks and a beautiful sunset but with the intent of safekeeping.
Allow me to be self-centred and try to understand my side here.
I shared ‘happy’ so people would be happy for me or just to bring a smile on someone’s face. However, this doesn’t happen.
If I would share to have the soon-to-be-released PS5 everyone would be happy for me or jealous? Would they start assuming I was rich? Would they start from there and assume I had a maid at home because I’m ‘so rich’? Or would they be happy for me and come play with me and play games and have happy memories?
I have seen friends behind the scenes busting their ass working to then publish a photo of an expensive item because they felt like it and then be dragged by ‘friends’. I have seen my dad working his ass off and then buying an expensive item and then be met with jealousy and hate.
I stopped. I stopped sharing what makes me happy because people don’t get happy for you. What could be a friendly conversation met with funny memories is often hate and talking behind one’s back. I’ve been through this too many times. I thought it was just a ‘primary school thing’ but I see that the kids that grow to be adults stay as childish as ever.
I am talking from a place of privilege, I realise that. And take this as it is, a reflection.
On another note, you can just not care about what people think. However, if you have to do that…are those your friends at all or are they just toxic and keeping you away from happiness?
It’s important to reflect on the people we follow and are following us, online and offline. Why keep the ones that can only see their problems and leave you on the side of the road for when they need you?
Stop assuming and start living.
Be happy and let be happy.
Reflect on who brings you joy and let go of the ones that don’t. Only then you can grow.