Tony

Been meaning to write about Tony but never got around to it because I didn’t want to face the photos or videos of him.

However, today is brothers’ day in Portugal and there’s no better day than this one to talk about him.

Tony was a cat, my cat.

When I was ten years-old I went through a rough time and I was always in a state of panic. I didn’t have a normalsy or routine and was unpredictable, even to myself. Leaving the house was difficult for me at that time, everything triggered me.

One saturday, I was feeling better so my mom and grandma took me to sunday school and church. That day, my panic was subsided and so, I was peacefully doing all my activities.

To reward my good behaviour, my mom took me to my aunt’s house. She had about four kittens running around and I got to chose one.

One with blue eyes and orange nose caught my attention right from the start. He also was terrorrising his sisters so, I knew right away he wouldn’t be an easy-peasy cat.

But I still chose him.

My dad was the one to give him a name. According to him the name ‘Tony’ came to him in a dream. We made that dream a reality. That little kitten was now Tony GT Sabino Da Silva, one of us.

I still remember the day he came home. I put a blanket on my lap and he immediately took his first-of-many nap in my lap. I was so happy. He seemed happy too.

His first collar was one of my bracelets from when I was four, that’s how tiny he was.

This is the video of one of his christmas with us. We had a little too much fun that day.

His personality was very strong but that is one of the reasons I love him. He taught us how to show respect.

He became my best pal. He would come to me when I was most nervous – such as exam times and intense studying sessions – and when I felt sad. He was my emotional support. Nothing needed to be said. He knew just his company would make me feel better.

From the younger days to the latest ones, he was always with us.

In September of 2019 I had to say goodbye to Portugal to go to the UK again and knowing that Tony was really sick, I said goodbye to him. I cried so much and hugged him and pet him as if I was not to see him again. He just kept looking at me to ‘open the door to the living room’.

He died a month ago. One week before I was to come back to Portugal.

The house feels so empty.

I miss you so much Tony.

I miss your incredible camouflage skills and your weird fur that had three colours in just one strand.

I miss being scared to go to my bedroom because you would sneak up the stairs and wait to attack me.

I miss having my clothes with your fur because you would make them your bed even with your four beds around the house.

I will miss putting up the christmas tree with you and having crap all over the living room that you played with.

I miss you lurking around and then jumping to my lap to sleep for hours on end.

I miss your ongoign fight with ‘Roomba’, the vaccum cleaner.

When it was cleaning around his bed he would turn it off. I can relate to that, no one likes to wake up to an annoying vaccum cleaner.

I miss waking up to my dad singing your name and whistling while making lunch.

I miss getting worried everytime you went to the garden because you might run or get in a fight with another cat.

I miss your cross-eyes.

But most of all, I miss you. Your company and that little orange nose scavenging the house.

Never going to forget that little/big personality of yours.

I hope you were happy with us these 12 years. We sure tried to give you everything and make you feel like family.

I hope you are in a better place now and that you are safe and with someone/something you love because I will always love you little brother.