The more I think about this, the more I get depressed when I shouldn’t.
I started a journey in a new country at the age of 18. On my first year I lived with five people, the second with four and the third also with four but with some swaps.
When I say ‘first’, ‘second’ and ‘third’ I am refering to years in uni but it could also mean years in England.
However, this will be my forth year in England but not the forth in uni.
This is where change begins to be felt. I thought I wanted that forth in uni. I thought once I got off my studies I wouldn’t go back and it would be best to go and work. I felt pressure into going into the Master’s, mostly from myself.
I am always thinking that I am not ready to go into the working world but when will I be?
Most friends will still be around me, I can consider myself lucky on that part.
Since first year that I knew I had to take advantage of this era and these people because in three years we would be separated ‘by dreams’. As if there was some kind of ‘sorting hat’ for dreams that appointed you your next direction.
However, one of my close friends did put that hat on and the sorting, although kind, gave him a long route ahead. I am grateful that the hat sought to put more people around me but I am saddened that it took one away from me/us. He didn’t die, let me make that clear, but I sure am going to miss him.
It didn’t matter if we were five or four or two or one he always made it seem like the house was full. Sometimes I couldn’t even take it. From Beyoncé to dolphin screams down the stairs to me crying in the kitchen and then laughing at his confused face, our friendship is truly something.
We also had a lot of less happy times but I won’t remember him by those times. I only wish him happiness and say a saddened and proud ‘see you later’.
The friends that remain I will cherish for one more year of being uncertain together. I have a lot of people around me, I am lucky. However, those that I hold a closer place in my heart will be the next ones to be ‘sorted’. One day that friend will be me but till then we have a year, a year of screaming laughs and weird jokes.
This year will be my forth of England. Will certainly be one I won’t forget as I am sure I will go through a lot and be learning a lot. We will be two. I will be working. I will struggle. I will learn. I will thrive. I will move on.
And although I am scared and insecure I am mostly excited to know where life will sort out for me.
I love you guys and ‘I’ll see you soon’.