When with 75kg to the gym you go

I was a pretty slim kid, so slim that everyone around me was worried about my health and didn’t really know what to do to make me put on weight.

STRESS. That’s the answer.

Once I went to first grade, the stress came and my appetite too. I was 7 at the time and the idea of change, the mere upgrade to first grade was very daunting for the introvert kid that I was. I started putting on weight really fast. I felt miserable doing anything that was remotely athletic because I had to work harder to do exercises that others did in a much easier way, like running. I hated running, still do.

I was 14 years old when my weight finally stabilized for good. And stayed the same for 5 years, not that I feel okay with it but I guess I just got used to the idea and I realized how sad that is. So, I said to myself “Once you go over 75kg, you are definitely going to the gym and it’s for your own good”.

Do you remember that “Kidney stone incident” that happened last week? Well, while I was at the hospital being examined, I saw a dear friend of mine that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. The scale. Not really a friend but she was only doing her job when telling me the result of the years that I kept myself on the couch just watching TV and eating snacks. I knew what was coming, especially since I came to university, I was sure there wouldn’t be any good news. Then, I saw the number 78 coming up I knew this couldn’t stay like this, the words that young Nicole told to herself on her 14’s started echoing in the back of my head and it was time for action.

I started planning. My undiagnosed OCD demanded me to make plans and start moving and after close consideration, I have the answer. After the holidays, I’m going to the gym, it’s about time that I look after myself especially after that big scare with the kidney stones that are still making themselves noticed day by day. Enough is enough.

I’m writing this so that I keep myself focused on this goal and not disappoint myself, as well as to encourage other people to go out and exercise, make yourself feel better. Also, I’m okay with the way I look and so, that’s not the reason why I’m doing this. I want to be able to reach my full potential, be active and not be so tired all the time, be myself again.